Characters write to fanfiction
by Grape Lemonade
Summary: Basically what I think different characters from the books would say after reading fanfiction. Better than it sounds, I promise. I post as often as I can.
1. Death to Barbie

**This is an idea that's been bugging me for weeks. Please review what you think, I love to hear from you.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own this. **

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To fanfiction,

You know, I do own more t-shirts than just the 'death to barbie' one. You don't have to write about me in it every single time. What about the 'eat fist' or 'hot as lightning' one, you can be creative about it. Isn't that what fanfiction is about?

Thalia.


	2. Just Friends

I _still_ don't own these characters!

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Dear fanfiction,

First of all, me and Annabeth are friends, we don't hate each other. And I'm totally over the whole Percy thing. And the fact that I'm the oracle means I can't date anyone anyway. Second, I'm not a slut! I'm not trying to steal him away, or entice him, or anything like that. We're friends. Just friends.

Rachel Elizabeth Dare.


	3. Not In Love

Hi again. Before you read this I just want to say I don't want this to offend anyone. I'm quite a fan of this pairing, and everyone can ship what they want to. We're all the same, and our own fandom shouldn't judge us.

**Still don't own these people.**

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Dear fanfiction,

To all the Pertamis shippers, WE ARE NOT IN LOVE. I hate boys, and even though he has proved himself a good man I'm not just going to fall in love like that. I've got more important things to do than spend my time following a boy around. When all they do is break your heart and throw you in the trash. AND, he's with that Annabeth girl, and he's loyal to her. Cough cough, fatal flaw, cough cough. So just stop with all the fics about us, or I might just lose my temper

Artemis


	4. Little Brats

I don't own these people! Thank you so much to the The Hardcore Hobbit for their lovely review. It really made my day.

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Dear fanfiction,

I'm rational. That's all. I had a plan and I put it to action, and I got results. If it wasn't for me there wouldn't be any of this. We'd be lost. So really, you should be writing about the way I saved the world with what I did, the way I put into action the sequence of events that led to everything that's happening. Otherwise there'd be no defences to stop Gaia. I out together the seven, me. And yet you're all writing fics about my death because a little girl couldn't handle spending less than a year without her boyfriend. It's pathetic.

So stop with all the hating, or you will regret it! You should be thankful, insolent little brats!

Hera.


	5. Awesomeness

**I own exactly 0 characters.**

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Dear fanfiction,

I'm really awesome,

Thanks for all the love, my fans,

I really am awesome.

I'm writing to say well done. You've portrayed me brilliantly. Hot, smooth, intelligent. It's no wonder everyone's falling in love with me. But you should probably tone down the fics about Artemis or Athena. They tend to get annoyed, and take their anger out on me. Totally ludicrous, I know, but we have to humour them. Keep writing though, and don't forget to comment on my jawline. Oh, and my high cheekbones. And my muscles. And don't forget my nose…

Apollo


	6. One Observation

**I own nothing.**

**Thank you so so much for all your reviews, favourites and follows. They really make my day.**

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To fanfiction,

Look, I'm sorry if I don't think Percy is as handsome as Jason, but everyone's allowed an opinion, aren't they? I mean, I can see why people would find him hot, and he's a good friend and everything, but for me he isn't as good looking. That was before I knew him, and he is a hero. He's a good friend, and I can see why Annabeth loves him. Besides, Annabeth's a good friend of mine, and I'd never hurt her anyway. So please stop with all the hate, I didn't mean to offend anyone. It was just one observation.

Lots of love, Piper.


	7. Important

**I do not own these people.**

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To fanfiction,

We may not have saved the world as many times as Percy and Annabeth, but we still help. We each have our own strengths, and fight our own battles. Because I know we can't all control the sea and think our way out of anything, but we all bring something to the seven.

Jason can freaking make storms, and Piper can change people's minds just by talking to them. Frank can turn into any animal he wants, and control an army of Roman dead people just like that. And I think I've got them out if quite a few problems myself.

Stop hating on us! Yes, we haven't turned down becoming a god or tricked a spider into trapping herself in her own silk, but we are important, and we deserve some more recognition!

And I know it's not all of you, and I've found lots of fics that are really sweet. But there's quite a few that say that we don't deserve to be part of the seven, or that we're just extras.

A very angry Hazel.


	8. Ewwwww!

**This has been on my mind for a while. Please review ideas because I've run out!**

**Rights go to Rick.**

To fanfiction,

I came across something really gross yesterday. People ship me and… Athena. I feel sick just saying it. Of all the people, does it have to be olive face? Always grumpy, hates everything to do with the sea… we'd be a perfect match! (Sarcasm) And, if you don't remember, I'M MARRIED. MARRIED. And yes, my wife has had a few problems with my children in the past, but she's still my wife.

Second, if we were dating, what would that make Annabeth and Percy? No. I don't even want to think about it.

From Poseidon.


	9. Hades doesn't do love!

**Rights go to Rick.**

Dear fanfiction,

Please just leave me alone. I don't like the spotlight. Your OC's will not warm my heart, turn me into a kind and loving person. I'm a son of Hades. The god of the underworld. He does not do kind and loving.

Second, what's with all the Pernico/Percico stuff. Percy is dating Annabeth, and I don't even like him. Well I like him as a friend and a cousin, but not anything else. I don't, honest. Anyway, who told you that? Was it Jason? Gods, I can't trust him with anything! When I get my hands on him…

Nico


	10. NEIGH!

**I know I've been away for 70 years and I'm so so so sorry, please forgive me. As I kind of sorry present, I'm going to start doing some of your lovely requests.**

**Disclaimer : As much as I'd want to, I don't own any characters.**

To Fanfiction,

NEEIIGGHH! NEIGH! NEIGH!

-Blackjack

P.S. Hi, it's Percy here. Just in case any of you didn't understand what Blackjack said, he pretty much said that without him I wouldn't be alive, so he's really annoyed that he's only found 42 stories about him.

P.P.S. I have no idea where he learnt that kind of language, I certainly didn't teach him any of it.


	11. Not a faun!

**Here's another one for you!**

**Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own Percy Jackson.**

Dear fanfiction,

I'm a satyr. SATYR. Mythical creatures who devote their lives to making the wild and the world in general a better place. I'm am NOT a faun. I never steal, I never lie and I never drink. Satyrs are noble creatures, not like our roman cousins.

\- Grover Underwood


	12. The Name Game

Dear fanfiction,

I have seen lots of Fanfictions about me and Percy having kids. Although some day I'd love to have a family and I can't comprehend starting one with anyone else, I am only seventeen years old. I'm not doing anything even to do with kids anytime soon. Also, you know how much Percy hates the name Perseus. He constantly got teased for it, why would he inflict that on our kid? Any kid of ours would not have a name that would get them bullied, that's for sure!

I found Percy to ask him and after a scrabble match (which I won), three races (I won two but apparently they didn't count because I tripped Percy over… I still maintain that it wasn't in the rule book so technically it was allowed) and two water fights (I somehow still won, even though he's a son of Poseidon we decided on some names. If it was a boy I would go for Luke Robert Jackson and for a girl it would be Zoë Sally Jackson. So there. But still, just wait till we get outta college first, yeah?

-Annabeth


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